To be romanced.
An irreplaceable role to play.
Beauty all your own to unveil.
These are the core desires of a woman’s heart. Look at the movies we love, the books we read; watch little girls at play. You will learn something very important about the feminine soul. These are the desires that shape our hopes and dreams; they are essential in order to live life as a woman. Misplaced, forgotten, or misdirected, these desires do not simply go away; they go underground and surface later in addiction, control, and shame. We pay a high price when we neglect the core passions of our hearts.
God loves romance. He created it. Sunsets, flowers, music, a kiss—all his ideas. He says, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13)! God wants to be pursued. And so do we. Now—we are not saying that being romanced is all that a woman wants; nor are we saying that a woman ought to find the meaning of her life in whether she is being or has been pursued. Nevertheless—every woman longs to be loved, to be chosen, to have someone fight for her. Most of our addictions flair up when we feel that we are not loved or sought after, not even noticed. At some core place deep within, every woman wants to be seen, delighted in, and pursued. We long to be romanced.
We also want to be essential, needed, irreplaceable. A woman doesn’t come alive being merely “useful.” There is something fierce in the heart of a woman. Simply insult her children, her man, or her best friend, and you’ll get a taste of it. A woman is a warrior too—but in a uniquely feminine way. When God creates Eve he calls her ezer —literally, a “life saver,” someone you need desperately when all hope is lost. We are relational to the core of our being and filled with a desire for transcendent purpose. We long to play an irreplaceable part in a shared adventure. God made us this way. The world needs us.
Finally, there is Beauty. Every young girl wants to know she is lovely. Some will ask with words; others simply ask with their eyes. Playing dress-up and wearing twirling skirts, or covered in mud from a romp in the fields, every little girl wants to be delighted in. We want to be noticed. Think of your wedding day or the wedding day you hope for—would you just throw on any old rag? Yes, this desire to be beautiful has caused many women grief. Countless tears have been shed in its pursuit. Yet in spite of all the pain and distress that beauty has caused us as women, our desire for it remains. And it’s not just the desire for an outward beauty; far more it is a desire to be captivating in the depths of who we are. For this, too, is how we bear the image of God, who is beautiful and wants to bring beauty to the world.
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