00 – Trailer
Love & War
Trailer – With refreshing openness that will grab you from their first words on the Love & War eight-session video study, designed for use with the Love & War Participant’s Guide in a small group or retreat setting, hosts John and Stasi Eldredge candidly discuss their own marriage and the insights they’ve gained from the challenges they’ve faced. Each talks independently about what they’ve learned, giving their guidance a personal immediacy and balance between the male and female perspectives that have been absent from all previous group studies on this topic.
01 – Hope and Vision
Love & War
Part 1: Hope and Vision – What would it look like for the two of you to find your way to something beautiful? Don’t start with, How can that happen? How will come in time; we can help you with the how. You have to begin with desire. Start with what is written on your heart. What was it that you once dreamed of as a young man or woman? What was it you wanted when you fell in love?
02 – A Perfect Storm
Love & War
Part 2: A Perfect Storm – Our mutual brokenness plays off of each other so perfectly it’s frightening. It’s like throwing a dog and a cat in a dryer. Is he absolutely mad? Why would God do such a thing? Because marriage is a divine conspiracy. It is a conspiracy divinely arranged and with divine intent. God lures us into marriage through love and sex and loneliness, or simply the fact that someone finally paid attention—all those reasons that you got married in the first place. It doesn’t really matter, he’ll do whatever it takes. He lures us into marriage and then he uses it to transform us.
03 – The Greatest Gift You Can Give
Love & War
Part 3: The Greatest Gift You Can Give – There are all sorts of joy to be found in your marriage, once you stop looking to your spouse to make you happy. The human heart has an infinite capacity for happiness and an unending need for love, because it is created for an infinite God who is unending love. The desperate turn is when we bring the aching abyss of our hearts to one another with the hope, the plea, “Make me happy. Fill this ache.” And often out of love we do try to make one another happy, and then we wonder why it never lasts.
04 – Sharing An Adventure
Love & War
Part 4: Sharing An Adventure – So, what’s the mission of your marriage? What are the two of you called to, together? Can you name it? “We’re in this together,” is essential for the boy and girl in the fairy tale. Finding a shared mission as a couple is essential to a vibrant marriage. It might be the very thing to rescue a floundering couple, and it will surely take you both to a whole new level of companionship regardless of where you are. Our hearts are made for adventure. Surviving the week so you can hit the food court at the mall on the weekend is not enough.
05: The Enemy Is Not Your Spouse
Love & War
Part 5: The Enemy Is Not Your Spouse – We confessed earlier in the book our naïve view of the story when we got married. We thought the plot was, “Love God. Love each other. And everything will work out!” Our naïveté nearly cost us our marriage. We learned the hard way (do any of us ever really learn any other way?) that there is a whole lot more going on here. We had to face our broken- ness. That was a shock. We had to confront our style of relating. That was humbling. We needed to learn that this is a far more dangerous story than we thought, that there is so much at stake. And maybe the biggest eye-opener of all—we learned we had an enemy.
06 – Storm Clouds
Love & War
Part 6: Storm Clouds – When crisis hits and something shakes us to our foundation, we all start grasping, clutching, looking for someone to blame or someplace to hold on. Like people do when they’re drowning. Panic overcomes us; we rush to blame or speculation or a box of doughnuts. Before you make another move, you need to ask yourself: Why is it hard right now? Don’t jump to conclusions. Your interpretation of what’s going on will shape everything that follows—your emotions, your perspective, and your decisions.
07 – Sex
Love & War
Part 7: Sex – Fight for a sexual life with your spouse that is frequent, and deeply satisfying for both of you. Take risks. Offer strength, offer beauty. Be vulnerable, be fully present. That is the way of love, especially in a time of war. As God said, drink deeply, O lovers.
08 – A Thousand Little Choices
Love & War
Part 8: A Thousand Little Choices – I think we all look for love to come in dramatic ways. We know love is powerful and beautiful – how come it doesn’t feel like it? Love plays itself out in what seems like such unremarkable ways – you pick up your socks, you ignore their snarky comment, you put the toilet seat down. But this is exactly what makes it epic – the fact that love plays itself out in a thousand little choices, unseen and without supporting soundtrack. That’s what makes it so beautiful.
Creating a Love & War Group
Love & War
Join John, Stasi, and Craig as they share on creating groups around Love and War.
Love & War for Pastors and Leaders
Love & War
Join John and Stasi as they share around the topic of leading small groups around the message of Love & War. While the intended audience was Pastors and Leaders, we think that the conversation applies well to the larger topic of Love and War small group studies.