The way to begin to get free of this debris, to remove these limits you’ve unknowingly placed on Jesus, is first to name what the problem is. Where are you having a hard time with Jesus? Where is your struggle with him?
Do you find it hard to believe he loves you? Or that he loves you because of what you do?
Do you feel like you are always disappointing him?
Is he mad at you? Ignoring you?
Does Jesus seem like a hard man who wants you to work harder?
Does he seem distant—loving, sure, but disengaged?
It would help to write this down. What do you think Jesus thinks about you? Then look at what you’ve written—do you see how this might be connected to your own brokenness? Is this how everyone else feels about you? How you feel about yourself? Ask the Holy Spirit—the Spirit of Truth—to show you how this is connected to your brokenness.
Next, invite Christ into it—invite him right into the whole ugly mess. Open the door, for heaven’s sake. The incarnation ought to be proof enough that Jesus doesn’t shy away from getting down in the muck of this world. There isn’t anything you can show him he hasn’t seen before. It’s not like he’s going to be shocked. Or angry. Or disappointed. Jesus loves to come; just open the door to him here.
Tell Jesus what you think he thinks of you. Ask him if it’s true. Ask him to free your heart from the wounds of your past so that you might know him and love him. This will actually turn out to be a rich part of your learning to love and experience Jesus, this shared journey into and out of your brokenness. You’ll love him more for it, too.