I’m thinking about love this morning.
I’ve been noticing that most mornings I don’t wake up super happy, and I’m not sure why. I’ve also been noticing for some time now that when I first wake up, I find myself racing through the coming day in my mind, bracing myself for what’s required of me, but even more so searching to see if there is anything to look forward to. It’s not really voluntary. It’s almost as if my heart has a life of its own, and it wakes up before I do and begins to assess the prospects before me. “I slept but my heart was awake” (Song of Songs 5:2).
By the way, I think this is how our addictions get their claws deeper into us. Our day-to-day grind isn’t anything close to Eden, and our hurting and desperate hearts look for something to which we can attach all those yearnings. We’ll settle for a doughnut if that’s all there is to look forward to. We have to be careful what we give our hearts over to.
I don’t want to give my heart to just anything that looks like hope, so I turn my thoughts to God, knowing, at least intellectually, that the only safe place for my heart is in the love of God. Love. It’s about love, remember? I say to my heart. Come back to love, my heart. To the love of God. My self-talk helps, in that I begin to realign my heart with God. This turning in the right direction is almost like turning a ship around. It takes time for the soul to realign itself with God, and things are creaking and groaning, but slowly I am tacking into the wind.