The book “Killing Lions” is a conversation between John and Sam Eldredge about the trials young men face.
[Sam] You know, I was really good at thinking only about myself pre-marriage, but sacrificing for the Other really has become a joy. If you had told me that a couple of years ago, I might have rolled my eyes at you. It seems to be something I could only learn through experience, kind of the rule for marriage thus far.
Susie has been looking at grad school for a while now, and her program will require all of her time, which means I would need to be working to support both of us. This actually got me really excited. I know it would be a sacrifice of my time to work more while Susie pursues the education she needs to reach her dream, but it doesn’t feel like wasted time to me. I need purpose in my work, and supporting both of us for a couple of years would put work into a larger context. Another example that comes to mind is church. I don’t always feel the strongest pull to go every Sunday morning (how’s that for political phrasing?), but I know Susie really loves it. So we go. And the joy she feels after having been is something I get to share in. By sacrificing my wants for hers I experience the joy of doing something for her, not to mention how happy she is when she gets to go.
Choosing to sacrifice for her sake has become a love language in its own way. I want the best for Susie, and sometimes the best isn’t something I would have chosen were I single. But man, loving her by laying down something of my own and seeing her light up (especially if she doesn’t know it was a sacrifice) is one of the greatest joys there is.