Articles & Posts
Low Power Mode
Dear Summertime Friends, I confess it—I have an iPhone. A love-hate relationship with my iPhone. Love the photo and video quality. Love a few of the apps (particularly the FIFA World Cup app this summer). Hate the fact that I feel tied to it as do most people in the world today. The expectation now is that we are available anytime, anywhere, all the time, and we should respond within moments. There used to be something called a “land line;” these were the only phones, and when you weren’t near one, no one could reach you, text you, find you, ask anything of you. It was wonderful. We actually had down time between work and home, travel and play. Most folks don’t even know that down time is a thing. We are constantly “on.” So hard on the heart and soul, not to mention the body. The iPhone is a clever device; among its many features it has one called “Low Power Mode.” If I’ve run down the battery shooting videos of my grandchildren or watching the recap of the semifinals (sorry, England), or more likely I’ve simply forgotten to charge it, the phone asks me if I want to go into Low Power Mode. In which case it operates on a subsistence diet, trying to conserve the last remaining power. According to Apple support, “Low Power Mode reduces the amount of power that your iPhone uses when the battery gets low…When Low Power Mode is on, your iPhone will last longer before you need to charge it, but some features might take longer to update or complete.” When it happened again this week I thought, If only our souls had this feature. Some regular reminder to us that says, “Hey Dan, Susie, Jack—your battery is running low. Shut down all unnecessary activity. Don’t drain yourself any further. Go plug yourself back into the Source.” You’ll notice that human beings have a certain amount of capacity; we all have a “battery,” and it is limited. Not unlimited, as we would like, but extremely limited. You have to sleep, every night. You have to literally shut down your systems for six to eight hours every single day of your life. I recognize some people have difficulties with that, and some people seem to be able to get by with less (seem to), but this is the way God made human bodies and souls. We need to go into Low Power Mode on a regular basis, and summer is the perfect time to do it. There is even a kind of cultural permission to do so (if we needed it). What I wanted to put before you this month is the very simple question: Have you asked Jesus, What is the rhythm you want for me right now, Lord? He might have some things he’d like to say to you about that. Not in the negative sense, but in lovely directions towards life. It was another hot day the other day (Colorado has been scorching this summer), and I was inside waiting till things cooled off to go tend to our horses. Jesus whispered, You should go now. “Now?” Yes—now. So I got up, and went. I noticed cumulus clouds building overhead (I love those great summer clouds) and soon as I got to the barn it began to rain. So I slipped under an overhang, and spent the next thirty minutes simply watching the wind in the tall grasses and the rain falling across the valley. It was absolutely lovely, and so restoring. I would have missed it all had I not listened. The rain let up, I tended our horses, and Jesus said, You should head back now. I didn’t want to go back; but I obeyed. Soon as I got back to house, a real gully-washer let loose. A simple story. Nothing dramatic. But a beautiful picture of how God really does want to lead us into rest, beauty, and restoration. You can’t just live “on” all the time. When is your Low Power Mode time? So while summer is still here, and the park is gorgeous and flowers are blooming and the river is perfect temperature for swimming—or whatever your joy is—my goodness, go on Low Power Mode for heaven’s sake. Ask Jesus what he has for you. Go plug yourself back into renewal by letting him lead you to what he has for you. Offered in love, and now I’m going on Low Power Mode, John Download the July 2018 newsletter here.
John Eldredge
The Anchor
Are you a person who when “things” aren’t going well look for someone to blame and that person is someone ELSE? Or are you one who thinks that it must be YOU who is doing something wrong bringing it upon yourself – though you have no clue as to what it is you are doing wrong? So many things can be going wrong. Maybe it’s many sleepless nights in a row. Maybe it’s another friend who isn’t available. Maybe it’s a compulsion to act in a way privately that brings harm to yourself. “If only they hadn’t…” “If only I hadn’t...” “If only God had…” Recently a heartbreaking sorrow came to one I love and I became aware that I really wanted to blame someone. I knew of one who was a possibility. I began to imagine this person being in my home and the pleasure I would get if they began to speak cruelly – to kick them out of my house. “You are no longer welcome here. You need to leave. Let’s speak privately in the future. Yes, I’m serious.” I say as I open the door. Huh. (I realized this was wrong and began to pray for this person, blessing them. Breaking soul ties. Releasing them to God. Then I gave my heart to God asking him to come for everyone.) I’m a person who usually blames myself. I know my weakness. I’m acquainted with my failures. I must be doing something wrong. Sheesh. Many things wrong. I so often forget all the players on the stage of life. I forget the fallen world we live in - the nature of a world gone mad. I forget the fallen nature of human beings that leads them to do harm with thoughtful intent and sometimes, with no thought at all. I forget that there is an evil one with his minions bent on destruction – lying, killing, destroying – whispering hatred, inserting false interpretations – all designed to separate us from the One who is Love busy about his damning work. (Now him, I can and do and am called to “kick out of my house.” He needs to leave and no, we will not be speaking privately in the future.) I too easily forget God – the Anchor of my soul – bent on my restoration. Whispering my name. Calling me HIS. Encouraging me to stand my ground in the uncontested place I hold in His heart and to fight the good fight of faith. He urges me, beckons me, calls me to be unwavering in my belief that He is for me. “I am my Beloved’s and He is mine.” He is for me? Yes, He is for me. And He is for you. In the watches of the night, in the aftermath of sin, in the bearing of the consequences of failure, He has not and will not turn His face away. He is the Anchor of my soul and of my life. I am not the Anchor. I am too often tossed upon the sea of shifting circumstances. But He is steady, immovable and I am attached to Him. He holds me and He will not let go. NOTHING and NO ONE and NO CIRCUMSTANCE can separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus. No height, no depth, no angel or demon or thing from my past or from my present or in my future can separate me. No failure on my part or harm caused by another. No confusion, no wavering, no wandering can detach me from His constant, faithful immeasurable love. And neither can anything detach Him from you. From YOU dear one. We can look around and we can blame or we can look to God and invite Him in to our heart’s struggle. He is the One who calms the storms of our lives. He is the One who never sleeps. He is the One who instructs and guides and gives wisdom. He is the One who comforts. He is the One who never changes. He is our Peace. It’s too easy to focus our attention on seeking blame, on feeling like a blow it, on nursing a way to fight for someone else or ourselves in ways that are outside the way of Love. God calls us to focus our attention on Him. His character. His goodness. His never changing delight over us. Yes, He delights over us. Big deep sigh. He is our Anchor. We are tethered to Him. Oh rejoice my soul. Rejoice. Because I am His. Forever. And so are you. And wonder upon wonders, joy upon joys, we can blame Him for that.
Stasi Eldredge
I Want
Yesterday my son was holding his 15-month-old daughter when she made her desires known. Her desire was to go into our bedroom and the door was closed. It was shut for a reason. For the time being, it was closed particularly to her. She erupted in frustrated screaming/crying, her face turning crimson. “She can go in there”, I say to my son, my grandmother’s heart caving to her cries. “She doesn’t get what she wants by behaving that way,” he replied. Oh. Right. Then my son calmly spoke to his daughter, “Honey, you don’t get to talk to your Dad that way. What do you want?” She replied with the sign language that says, “More.” (I get it. I want more too.) “More what?”, her father asked, “Show me”. He picked her up and she pointed to the kitchen next, asking for more fruit. Wow, I thought. Watch and learn. I thought of my Father. Sometimes I pursue what I think I want, what I think will satisfy me and God blocks my path. Nope. Not this way. And I explode within with my own version of an unhappy temper tantrum. He does not leave me there. He asks, “What do you want?” He invites me deeper into my heart to really become aware of what it is I am after. What do I want? I want soothing. I want refreshment. I want to not feel so tired. I want a break. I want…I want….I don’t know what I want. He waits. He pursues. He helps me to really name what it is I am after and then asks me further…”Show me.” What I needisrest. What I need is soothing. Oh. What I need is Him. What I need is more of His Presence. I will find that in the quiet. In prayer. In worship. But I won’t find it if I continue to run from my own heart. He picks me up and invites me home to Him, home to myself. And my yearning, my tears, my frenetic drive is quieted.
Stasi Eldredge
Fires
The fires of summer have destroyed La Veta Pass. Eden beauty incinerated. The fires this season spread and pop up like measles all over the western states. News came they have engulfed the home of friends. Nothing left but smoldering ash. The air is thick with smoke this morning; no deep breaths can be drawn today. The view is obscured by haze. Fires take all forms and shapes and sizes in our lives. We cannot at times help but choke on what was meant to be clean fresh air but has become ash filled oxygen. Our family is currently walking through heavy losses that weigh our hearts down. Tears come frequently. I have sent my husband fishing. A gift. A guided trip. Scheduled weeks in advance. A time of respite and joy is now to be had under a canopy heavy with burning. Will the perfect fly find the hungry mouth of a wild brown trout sleek with the markings of a leopard? Will he be able to enjoy the freedom and beauty of the perfect cast thirty years in the making with loss heavy on his heart? Will the water be clear enough for the fish to rise? Will the ministry of Jesus be able to break through the smoky haze that surrounds life right now? Fresh, clean, deep breaths are meant to be ours for the taking. Even when licking flames have drawn too close. Even if the water that was meant to be clear has become muddy. Because of Jesus. He is the friend of fishermen. He is the source of clear, Living Water. His Spirit is the wind that clears the air of all harming debris. He has rescued the faithful from fires that destroy. Just ask Meshach when you meet him. Jesus has rescued my heart from flames that would like to engulf many times. So many times. We live in a fiery and dangerous world. Jesus doesn’t just fight them, He overpowers them. He is victorious over them. They can destroy what we can see but they cannot touch what we cannot. The weighty eternal world of the unseen is a balm of unending truth and beauty to our lives covered with ash. Loss is real. But so is the resurrection. The Grand Restoration is coming. Jesus IS coming. He is coming on His white steed one day. The horn will sound. It will friends. Take heart. And Jesus is coming today to the scorched earth of our souls that need Him so desperately. Jesus is faithful to rescue. To intervene. To heal. To restore. Oh praise Him my soul. Our God creates beauty from ashes. From Isaiah 61: 1-3 He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a] 2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. Do you need Him to come? Then ask Him to come. Ask Him to come. Ask Him to come for you.
Stasi Eldredge
Hear Him?
Stop for a moment. Stop reading even and listen. Just give it 30 seconds. I did and heard the low sounds of the television. The World Cup was on and my husband was catching up on highlights. I heard the occasional call of a nearby bird and the song of one a little further off. I also heard the drumming in my ears as the blood flows through. It’s a gentle hum, the underlying purr of the motor of my life. What do you hear? It’s good to be quiet. It’s good to train our ears to listen. Remember Elijah? God told him in 1Kings 19:11 to go out and stand on the mountain for “the presence of the LORD is about to pass by”. Elijah did as he was told attentive both to the LORD’s command and His soon coming. First came a great and powerful wind that tore the mountain apart and shattered rocks. The presence of God was not in the wind. Then came an earthquake but God was not in the earthquake. Then came a fire but God was not in the fire. The presence of God was not in these loud; grab your attention mighty acts. It was in what came next: Then came a gentle whisper. It was the LORD. God whispers still today. Very rarely does He shout at us. His Word may strike us like a lightening bolt but His invitations for us to come closer to His heart come to us when we stop our running, disengage from the frenetic pace of the world, turn down the volume of our lives and quiet ourselves to listen for His voice. It is there. He is there. He is here. And He is constantly, quietly inviting us to come closer. “Come to Me all you who are weary and I will give you rest.” (Matt 11:28) He speaks His love. We do not need to fear rejection. He will not and does not reject us. He accepts us. He wants us. He pursues. He invites. He calls. Be beckons. He says, “You are welcome here.” Today He is coming for me through John Chapter One and the intermittent call of songbirds. I love you, He says. He says it in the stillness and the quiet inside. He says it in a gentle whisper. Hear Him?
Stasi Eldredge
Giraffes
I love our zoo. The Cheyenne Mountain Zoo at its elevation claims to be the highest in the States and it certainly is one the best. Yes, I’m probably biased. We were members when our children were young and now they are members themselves. Recently the 200thgiraffe was born there to its mother “Mizuki”. The precious little (5 feet 8 inches) baby was born without incident but after birth was not standing up in the normal time frame it should have. Concerned, the zoo staff lured the mother into another cage and then went to the new baby to help it to stand. The staff gathered around her and held her up until she became steady on her legs. Once she was steady, they left her pen. After a bit, she fell down again. In came the staff once more. They picked her up, surrounded her and held her until they could feel her wobbling stop and her legs come into their own. They left her again and she began to walk exploring her new world. And isn’t that what the body of Christ does for each other? Or is meant to? I become weak. I forget the truth. Doubt of the goodness of God begins to creep into my heart and I’m no longer standing strong on the firm ground of the Rock. A friend either notices or I tell them and they come to my aid to speak the truth to me. To remind me Who God Is. To tell me who I am to Him. To ground me once again on a solid foundation. And my wobbly legs, my wobbly faith is strengthened once more and I stand. We need each other. It’s how it’s meant to be and it’s a good thing. Being wobbly sometimes isn’t a sign of failure, it’s a sign of our humanity. To need sometimes is not to be weak. It is to be real. We are blessed when someone notices or we have someone to ask for help. Oh dear ones, if no one notices, ask. And let us be ones to grow in seeing and come to the aid of others who need to borrow our strength. https://www.facebook.com/CMZoo/videos/10156635443861019/
Stasi Eldredge
Holding Hands
I always warned my sons not to hold a young woman’s hand until they were very serious about her and their relationship. It may seem a simple thing, I would tell them, but it’s an intimate act that conveys a sense of being a couple. A togetherness if you will. A belonging. I remember the first time a young man, a boy really, held my hand. I was young and teetering on the edge of falling in love for the first time when he took my hand. Shivers ran from his fingers to mine and up my arm to my whole body. What was this feeling, I marveled? That handholding toppled me over to a free fall. I love holding my husband’s hand. There’s a way that we’ve done it for 38 years. My right in his left. When we switch it up it feels unnatural and I quickly dash to the other side. We fit together. His hand in mine. Mine in his. It’s a holding on that conveys much more than the lacing of fingers. I read this morning in John, chapter Ten, verses 28 and 29 where Jesus was trying to explain to his unbelieving listeners that He and the Father are one. One. In complete union. He says that those the Father has chosen He holds in His hand and nothing can take them out of His hand. Jesus too says that they are in His hand and nothing can take them out. He is holding on with an unbreakable love. He is not merely holding hands with us; He is holding all of us. We are together. Intertwined. Intimately held. We belong to Him and with Him. His promise that we are held forever and that nothing can take us out of His hand conveys His faithful, unchangeable heart of love. He’s very serious about us. He’s very serious about you. He’s committed. And he’s never letting go. https://youtu.be/WdOv0_T7BKY
Stasi Eldredge
Kindness
I’ve been enjoying something from Ephesians lately, and wanted to share it with you. Allow me to begin with a passage from the opening of the letter… All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding. (Ephesians 1:3-8) Now, there is SO much in this opening passage I can’t possible address it all here. Chosen. Made holy. Every spiritual blessing. Can’t take it all in right now. What I would like to point out is the use of the word “kindness” twice in the last two verses—God is rich is kindness, and he has showered kindness on us. This is so lovely and life-giving, we need to pause and reflect on it. Kindness is such a simple virtue, it often seems to take a back seat to more dramatic qualities like bravery or holiness or love (kindness sort of feels like the younger sibling to love). And yet, kindness is such a wonderful thing to receive. Don’t you love it when people are kind to you? I sure do. In a world that seems increasingly angry and hostile, a little bit of kindness can make your day. You’re trying to merge into busy traffic and instead of cutting you off, the driver ahead pauses and waves you in. You’re returning some item to the store and after waiting your turn behind several customers, you get to the counter only to realize you forgot the receipt. “No worries,” the clerk says, “we can take care of this.” Such simple gestures can totally change your day. Or how about this one—you are in a hurry to get home because you promised some friends you’d take care of their dog and you get pulled over for speeding; the officer hears your story and says, “I understand. How about you take it slow the rest of the way,” and doesn’t give you the ticket she could have. Kindness is simply wonderful. Now, the place I want to take us in this reflection is actually even more overlooked than offering kindness to one another—I am struck by the power of offering kindness to ourselves. I’m working on a deck project this week. Specifically, I am installing some deck railing. We haven't had any for years, but now Stasi and I are grandparents (2 little girls entering full-on toddlerhood, and a new little grandson), and suddenly I realize we need deck railing so that our little adventurers don’t take a plunge. Anyhow, I’m out there for hours this morning trying to get one particular rail in place. It’s not going well. I’m getting frustrated. But I’m kind of a push-through-it guy, and even though the temperature on the deck is in the upper 80s, I keep at it another hour. No success. Finally, I realize what is needed—I need to walk away. I need to let it go. I need to come in and cool off and have lunch. I am learning to practice simple kindness towards myself. The fruit of it is really good on my soul; the ripple effects are good on everyone else around me. A friend was in town last week. I felt I ought to invite them to come over. But before I sent the text, I paused and asked Jesus. Not a good call, he said. You are utterly exhausted. And it’s true—I was wiped out from a week of meetings and mission and work and I was about to spend my only evening off on further giving, had Jesus not intervened. His counsel didn’t come as a command; it came in the gentle spirit of kindness. Don’t do that to yourself. Now I have a week of vacation. (It’s summer, folks! Woo hoo!) But I am keenly aware that I also have a book due in September. I begin to make plans to work on the manuscript even as my vacation begins. I wouldn’t if I were you, my kind Lord says. You first need sabbath; then you can think about the book. Simple kindness. What I wanted to put before you this month is the question, “What would practicing kindness towards yourself look like right now?” It might be in the way you talk to yourself—especially when you blow it. It might be in the pace you are currently living. It might be in expectations, or in the “to do” list you have for yourself this summer. Kindness. Remember—the way you treat your own heart is the way you will end up treating everyone else’s. That’s not meant to be a shaming statement; it is another way of realizing that the practice of self-kindness will spill over into kindness towards those around you. Okay. That’s really all I wanted to say. I could keep pressing on trying to come up with witty or powerful embellishments, but the truth is that wouldn't be kind to myself. After all, I’m on vacation. God is rich is kindness, and he has showered kindness on us. I want to live more into that. I want to receive it as he offers it; I want to practice it towards myself. I want to extend it to others more generously. Kindness. Offered in love, John Download the June 2018 Newsletter here.
John Eldredge
Union With God
Dear Friends, I write these letters, for the most part, to people who want to have a richer life with God. (A richer life period, which we know only flows out of a richer life with God.) We want to draw closer and closer; it is the yearning and inclination of the soul that loves God. For “When Jesus is near,” wrote a Kempis, “all is well and nothing seems difficult. When He is absent, all is hard. When Jesus does not speak within, all other comfort is empty, but if He says only a word, it brings great consolation.” Thus our soul yearns for nearness. But I think it yearns for something more—we yearn for union with God. He is the Vine, the source of all our life, and we are but branches aching and thirsting to be united with the Vine, so that Life itself might flow through us. In the introduction to Albert Magnus’ medieval classic, Union with God, the editor begins, “Surely the most deeply-rooted need of the human soul, its purest aspiration, is for the closest possible union with God.” My soul says, Yes and amen. The closest possible union. Now, when I look at the popular books, podcasts, sermons and conferences being offered right now in Christendom, I’m struck by how infrequently the topic is union with God. Either they are things to do: “This is how to help your kids grow in their faith,” or, “Do this for your community to share the love of Christ,” or, “Take action to bring justice to the world.” Or they are inspiration: “Be a better you! Live a braver life! You too can overcome!” There is a place for these things, of course, but I think they are misleading, because something else is needed first. Our energy and vitality, our strength and endurance, all the virtues like patience, loving-kindness, and forgiveness—these all flow out of our union with God. When the soul tries to produce any of these things on its own, it tires very easily. “We are vessels of life,” wrote MacDonald, “not yet full of the wine of life; where the wine does not reach, there the clay cracks, and aches, and is distressed.” So you would think our primary goal—and thus topic of conversation—would be union with God. “I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you…one as we are one. I am in them and you are in me.” (John 17:20-23) This is not quite the same thing as saying we believe in God, or that we are listening to God; not even that we are obeying God. Union, oneness, is something far higher and richer. I realize that in this abused age any sexual metaphor is potentially troubling, but the scripture uses it and therefore we should not abandon it. Referring directly to marriage Paul says, For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies…she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress though she is joined to another man…you also were made to die to the Law through the body of Christ, so that you might be joined to another, to Him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit for God. (Romans 7:2-4 NASB) And now you are united with the one who was raised from the dead. (NLT) It’s simply helpful to differentiate: believing in God is not the same thing as union with God, doing various God-activities is not the same as union with God, obeying God isn’t necessarily union with God. These things can all be done while there is a kind of distance between our soul and God. You can read all about Italy but that is very different from actually living there. You can do things for your spouse but that’s not the same as being united with them. Okay then. What I want to suggest is, that the basic things we do, the things that are at the top of our “To Do” lists, are things that help us find union with God. Step 1 is understanding that God wants union with you, that union is the purpose of your creation, and that it is the priority. That’s a good starting point. It is a massive re-orientation. Because it leads quickly to Step 2, which is presenting ourselves to God for union. I do this every day: “I present myself to You, God, for union with You.” We pray for union; we ask for it. Step 3 (and this is not science, folks, it’s poetry; these “steps” are simply for clarity’s sake) is to release everything else that is taking up room in your soul. “I give everything and everyone to You for union with You.” And then, I have found it very important to ask God to heal my union with him: “Father—I pray you would heal our union. I pray your glory would fill our union.” This is critical because the enemy is always trying to harm our union with God, and it needs healing and repairing on a regular basis. Jesus, Father, Holy Spirit—I give myself to you to be one with you in everything. I pray for union and I pray for oneness. I pray to be one heart and one mind, one will, one life. Restore me in you; restore our union. I give everything and everyone to you in order to have union with you. Heal our union, God; restore and renew our union. I pray your glory fills our union. I pray for a deeper union with you, a deeper and more complete oneness. It is a very quiet and gentle thing. Sometimes dramatic, but maybe only about 5% of the time. Most of the time the union of our soul with God is something that is very gentle and life-giving. And therefore you have to be gentle and tuned-in to be aware of it. But I think you will love the fruit of this. So I thought it would be good to put this back in front of us as the priority for each day. Offered in love, John PS. We are airing a two-part podcast series on union with God in June! Make sure you tune in! Download the May 2018 newsletter here.
John Eldredge
Choosing what is Real
My awakening began with two simple experiences. The first came through touching wet granite. I am a writer by trade. Add to this occupation the average person’s basic online consumption, and the result is, I find myself in front of screens for long periods of my day. While finishing a recent book project, I kept wandering outside, simply to touch real things—stone, pinecones, the juniper bush. This wasn’t a cognitive decision; it was a compelling, something I felt I had to do in order to come out from a weird ether-space, come back to myself. Laying my hand on a wet boulder, feeling the cold, examining the granite crystals, I realized, I need reality. The second, far more startling, moment came when I stepped into a small, local bakery. Normally when we need a loaf, I do what nearly everyone else in the West does—I go to the store and choose something from the racks. There is no smell of bread; there is no oven nearby; you see only factory-made products neatly packed in colorful plastics. It is an entirely detached experience, and often what comes in that plastic bag is barely even a food product. That was my normal, and so stepping into an actual artisan bakery was a thunderbolt, like suddenly finding myself on the open ocean. Soon as I walked through the door, I was engulfed with the aromas of dough, baking bread, and burnt crust. I felt the hot ovens. Instead of plastic rectangles, I beheld racks of naked loaves in ordered disarray: baguettes, boules, ciabattas. It was so real, so sensual. I wanted to grab several loaves and a jug of wine, find a meadow, and take a two-hour lunch. I wanted to dive in a river and run through the forest and never, ever go back to my office. My soul was awakened by an encounter with the Real, and I found myself wondering, If this is how the human race dealt with something as basic as bread for thousands of years, what have I gotten used to? What have we gotten used to? The average person now spends 93 percent of their life indoors (this includes your transportation time in car, bus, metro). Ninety-three percent—such a staggering piece of information that we should pause for a moment and let the tragedy sink in. You live nearly all your life in a fake world. Artificial lighting instead of the warmth of sunlight, the cool of moonlight, the darkness of night itself. Artificial climate created by the thermostat replaces the wild beauty of real weather; your world is always 68 degrees. All the surfaces you touch are things like plastic and faux leather instead of meadow, wood, and stream. The atmosphere you inhabit is now asphyxiated with artificial smells—mostly chemicals and “air fresheners”—instead of cut grass and wood smoke and salt air (is anyone weeping yet?). In place of the cry of the hawk, the thunder of waterfall, and the comfort of crickets, your world spews out artificial sounds—all the clicks and beeps and whir of technology, the hum of the HVAC. My God—even the plants in your little bubble are fake. They give no oxygen; instead, the plastic off-gases toxins, and if that is not a statement, I don’t know what is. But the worst part of it all is this: We have come to prefer it that way. Like laboratory rats or the slaves still tied into The Matrix. You live a bodily existence. The physical life, with all the glories of senses and appetites and passions—this is the life God meant for us. It is through our senses we learn most every important lesson. Even in spiritual acts of worship and prayer, we are standing or kneeling, engaging bodily. God put your soul in this amazing bodily life, and then put you in a world perfectly designed for that experience. He forever exalted the bodily life through the Incarnation, when God himself chose to dwell in a body. Forever. The implications for young men are critical. As we have tried to articulate a thousand ways here at And Sons, the initiation of the masculine soul takes place through our training in the Real World. Thus the quote—variously attributed to Churchill, Will Rogers, and Reagan—that “The best thing for the inside of a man is the outside of a horse.” Because when the young man encounters the horse, he is thrust into a constant, dynamic encounter with the Real. It calls things out of him, not only fears, anger, and impatience to be overcome, but intuition and presence and a sort of firm kindness no Xbox game can ever replicate. There is no switch you can flip; you must engage. Reality shapes you. I love March Madness. I can watch hours of it in a stretch. But I feel like crap afterwards. Just compare how you feel after binge-watching hours of screen anything—TV, video games, YouTube—with how you feel when you come off a mountain bike ride or a swim in the ocean. Living in an artificial world is like spending your life wrapped in plastic wrap. You wonder why you feel tired and numb and a little depressed, when the simple answer is you have a vitamin D deficiency; there is no sunlight in your life, literally or figuratively. Our body, soul, and spirit atrophy because we were made to inhabit a real world, to draw life and joy and strength from it. To be shaped by it, to relish in it. The world we inhabit substitutes real community with artificial community through social media. Now, I do understand the benefits. But having a “friend” on Facebook is nothing like having beers with an actual human being, and eons from taking a road trip together. They’re not even in the same universe. No text, no post, no update can ever replace engaging a person in person. But we have come to prefer the quick text, even quicker emoji reply. Because of the convenience. Our ability to relate is atrophying by the hour. The world tries to make up for its artificial hollowness through spectacle and hype, trying to make small stories seem like big stories. Watch any pro sports—the media surrounding it, the graphics, the pounding music, the “drama”—all trying to make it seem important, when the truth is, it’s inconsequential. Who cares who won the Superbowl last year? Thus we accept artificial meaning over a real life. Is it any wonder that men now prefer artificial sex to a covenant relationship with a real woman? All the rest of their life has taught them to prefer the artificial, so they are sitting ducks when it comes to their sexuality. It’s quick; it’s easy; it requires absolutely no masculinity whatsoever. But it provides an artificial feeling of being a man. Junk food is easy, tasty, and addicting. It will also kill you (anyone seen Fast Food Nation?). It’s not real. Pornography is sexual junk food. The artificial world lies and cheats. It seduces us with the worst of all lessons: that life is easy, and comfort is the goal. Thus it kills initiation at every turn. It cheats us of nourishment and strength and the very training we need. The answer is not only online filters. The answer is to choose a life where you prefer the Real over the artificial everywhere you possibly can. Reality was meant to shape us. The artificial is built almost entirely around our comfort and ease. Take back your soul. Re-engage the process of your initiation by choosing the Real everywhere you can. Get outside, every day. If you work out in a gym, take it outside with a run, bike, swim, hike. Encounter the weather whenever you can. Walk around outside your office building every day. Turn off the A/C and roll down the windows in your car. Turn off your screens and do something with real things. Change a tire; change your own oil. Learn to sharpen a knife. Plant some vegetables. Eat real food. Cooking is a surprising access point to the real—an encounter with textures, with heat and cold and spices—and it shapes you. Brew your own beer. Have a look around your world; notice how much is artificial. Begin to choose against the comfort and ease of the fake for the bracing trueness of the Real. You will love it! I was on a two-week business trip recently; it began with an overnight flight, 10 hours in a tube. From there it was airports, hotels, cars—an entirely artificial existence. Everything was fake—weather, lighting, sounds. I found myself increasingly wanting to drink, eat chocolate, watch TV. The artificial was wearing me down, poisoning me, and my soul was looking for quick relief. On the last night, a massive thunderstorm let loose in the city. My car was parked two blocks away. Instead of trying to avoid the rain by calling a cab, or cringing and moping at the fact that I would get utterly soaked, I relished it. I rejoiced the entire two torrential blocks; I whooped and shouted and let the rain utterly douse me. After days upon days in the artificial, it was a cleansing baptism in the Real. C. S. Lewis said, “[Christians], of all men, must not conceive spiritual joy and worth as things that need to be rescued or tenderly protected from time and place and matter and the senses. Their God is the God of corn and oil and wine. He is the glad Creator. He has become Himself incarnate. The sacraments have been instituted. Certain spiritual gifts are offered to us only on the condition that we perform certain bodily acts….To shrink back from all that can be called Nature into negative spirituality is as if we ran away from horses instead of learning to ride….Who will trust me with a spiritual body if I cannot control even an earthly body? These small and perishable bodies we now have were given to us as ponies are given to schoolboys. We must learn to manage: not that we may some day be free of horses altogether but that some day we may ride bare-back, confident and rejoicing, those greater mounts, those winged, shining and world-shaking horses which perhaps even now expect us with impatience, pawing and snorting in the King’s stables.”
John Eldredge
The World
I’ve been thinking quite a bit about “The World” lately. Not the world as in planet earth; not meaning global affairs. Rather, The World as Scripture speaks of—The World it has some fairly strong words about. In fact, it was passages like these that really caught my attention: Do not love the world or anything in the world. 1 John 2:15 Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. James 4:4 Those are stark warnings; almost offensive, if they weren't from the God who gave his life for us. What is he so upset about? I think we have a pretty good idea how dangerous the devil can be; and we are only too familiar with the trouble our “flesh” or sin nature can get us into. But this thing called “The World”—what is it? That’s what got me thinking, and it led to a six-part podcast series we are starting this month. So I wanted to share a few highlights here with you. Generations past have tried to define The World as things like dancing, card playing, drinking, going to movies, women wearing pants. Looking back, those seem absurd now. Sexual mores have always been the other prime target, and that is getting closer to the issue. But God is very specific when he warns about sexual immorality; here he is clearly turning our attention to this other thing called “The World.” The team began kicking this around in preparation for our series, and what we first noticed is that The World we have created is a world utterly committed to convenience. Why else would there be Starbucks on every corner? (A spoof in The Onion announced a new Starbucks opening in the restroom of an existing Starbucks). You can do all your banking, correspondence, appointments, travel arrangement—even turn the lights in your home on from your phone. Vegetables come bagged, ready for the microwave. The next level up appears to be self-driving cars. We can’t even drive our own cars anymore? What is with humanity’s craving for an easier way? The trouble with this value system is that the soul is not shaped, nor is character ever formed, through comfort and convenience. Any parent knows this. “Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it” (Matthew 7:13-14). “Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us” (Hebrews 12:1). The Christian life requires strong and resilient souls; the soul is compromised by a life of comfort and convenience. The World we now live in also constantly assaults our attention. Taxi cabs, elevators, airplane seats, gas pumps all have TVs in them now, spewing ads at a captive audience. Anytime you go online, Google knows your buying patterns and sends to your screen tailor-made videos and advertising. Push notifications, alerts, “click bait”—everything in our life is constantly trying to grab our attention. We barely have space to think. So much so that we have come to prefer distraction; people check their mobile devices more than 80 times a day. If you think I’m overstating this, just try putting your phone on “do not disturb” for a week; you’ll see how much you want to check it. The outcome is further erosion of the soul; we have become so easily distracted. This is dangerous because scripture says our transformation depends on our ability to give lingering attention to God: “They looked to Him and were radiant” (Psalm 34:5); “fixing our eyes on Jesus” (Hebrews 12:20). As we look to him, Paul says, we become like him (2 Corinthians 3:18). Souls committed to comfort find it very uncomfortable to spend time with God; easily distracted souls simply cannot give God their lingering attention. Thus The World poisons us without it looking “immoral” or blatantly evil. A third observation we made is that The World as we now have it prefers the Artificial to the Real. With medication, spas, and surgeries, a woman of 75 can now look 35—artificial youth. Social media creates a sense of connection (and hear me now—I do enjoy photos of my grandchildren). But it is artificial community, as is watching a church service on TV artificial church. We use emoticons—little cartoon images—instead of actually saying how we are feeling, or better, having an actual conversation with a real human being. We create artificial meaning by constantly trying to make small stories seem like big stories (witness the Super Bowl—such hoopla over nothing, really). Men fall prey to artificial sex. There is so much more to say, but let me summarize it this way: The World as scripture warns of is mankind’s Flight from Reality. We run from God to create a world where (we think) we don’t need him. We deny reality and say “this is all there is,” so we are fixated on the present. We distract ourselves; we choose artificial meaning and community. We demand greater freedom and less responsibility. No wonder the Desert Fathers fled The World of their day! As Thomas Merton explains, The World “was regarded by them as a shipwreck” from which every person “had to swim for his life... they believed that to let oneself drift along, passively accepting the tenets and values of what they knew as society, was purely and simply a disaster.” In this way, you can think of discipleship to Jesus as swimming lessons. I’m sorry we’ve run out of space here; we do offer more insight and many practical suggestions to take your soul back from The World in our podcast series; I do hope you will tune in. Offered for your soul’s welfare, with love, John Download the April 2018 newsletter here.
John Eldredge
I've Run out of Duct Tape
In the dream workshop my son, Kris, and I built with raw logs one timber at a time, we’ve accumulated a lifetime of gadgets and equipment. We have a lot of really great tools, some for very specific tasks and many that have multiple functions. When I consider the “general tool” category, the most valuable item that comes to my mind is duct tape. I know many people wouldn’t consider this a tool, but you can do unlimited things with duct tape! I’ve patched the inside of a tire with duct tape, then driven hundreds of miles. I’ve used it to hold things together for decades, like heating duct in an attic. I use it to keep things together temporarily until a more permanent attachment is made. I once used duct tape to hold a hernia in place on my lower abdomen until I could schedule surgery to repair it permanently. Duct tape’s uses are really too numerous to count—it’s invaluable in the environs of a workshop. I consider myself a resourceful guy who likes to fix things. But I take it too far when I bring the most trusted item from my workshop into my world of relationships and try to use my “duct tape” to mend a relationship—or at least to temporarily hold the relationship together until I can come back with more attention for a more permanent solution. Duct tape works wonders on inanimate objects, but when I think I can fix relationships the way I fix things, I need a gut check from God. In 38 years of marriage, how much figurative duct tape have I tried to wrap around my wife to attempt to fix the things I think need fixing in her? Most often I’m the one who needs attention, not with duct tape, but with something that comes not off a roll but from an infinite, inexhaustible source: God’s love. God has an endless supply of that for each of us to both receive and give to others. And as we seek to repair relationships, the key to that restoration and healing most often comes out of our surrendering to God what we think we can fix and giving to God what only he can mend with his infinite love. When it comes to rifts and wounds in our souls, God is the only source for healing—his love dispensed through us. God, forgive me for thinking my duct tape will work with the relationships in my life. I surrender my efforts here. I have run out of duct tape, and I turn to your love as the source of healing and redemption. Change my heart with your love so that I begin to trust in your love as the only agent able to repair what has gone wrong in the relationships of my life—beginning with my relationship with you.
Bart Hansen
Pause
February turned out to be an especially busy month for us; among other things God is really increasing our reach internationally. But I am trying to practice a more sane life, a soul-friendly life. Those two things usually mix like oil and water—busyness and living a sane life. So, what I am learning to do is to let go what I can let go of during busy times, and in February the newsletter turned out to be one of those things. Which actually leads me to what I’d like to share this month—living a sane life, a soul-friendly life. A few small choices that will make a big difference in our life with God. We all need more of God. Every one of us. No matter what our circumstance may be, whether the current pressures are emotional, financial, career, health, relationships—if we had a greater measure of God in our life right now, I guarantee you things would turn out better. He is the source of all provision, healing, and life; all love and guidance and every other good thing we can think of or need. “More of God!” is the cry of every human soul. Now, if that’s true—if more of God is what we most deeply need—you would think that we would be arranging our lives to do those things that allows our soul to find more of God. If you live in a desert, you plan your day around finding water. So my question for you is simply this: What is it that you are doing on a regular basis to receive more of God? An awkward question; the room often goes silent when you ask this question. Because most of us are waiting for God to invade our busy lives, rather than making room for him. If God is our deepest, most pressing need, you’d think we’d all be arranging our lives to do those things that bring us more of God on a daily basis. As our highest priority. So—what I’d like to offer this month are a few things you can do to create some soul space, and find more of God. Things which are simple, accessible, and sustainable. (Because if they are not simple, accessible and sustainable, we won’t do them.) By way of example, let me offer The One Minute Pause… I noticed that during my day I simply go from thing to thing to thing, without pause, from morning till night. (I am eating lunch at my desk as I write this letter.) I finish a phone call, and turn back to email. I finish this letter, and go find someone I need a meeting with. There is no pause in my day. No sacred space at all. So what I have begun to do is look for the One Minute Pause. After I finish a phone call, and before I start something else, I simply pause. When I pull into work in the morning and when I pull into my driveway in the evening, I pause. I literally lay my head down on my steering wheel and just pause, for one minute. It sounds rather simple to be a practice that brings me more of God, but it’s very effective. Because what it does is open up soul space, breathing room. And God is right there. This pause has become so important to our life at Wild at Heart that twice a day monastery “bells” ring out at 10:00 and 2:00 on our office sound system, reminding every team member to stop what they are doing for one minute and just make room for God. It’s simple; it’s accessible. Here’s another—do not look at your phone, or any technology, first thing in the morning. Don’t check texts, or Facebook, or email. Push back all technology for a few waking moments, to just allow your soul some room. Pray a little. Play a worship song. Let God have the opening moments of your day, rather than letting the clamor of the world in. Touch Nature. I’m serious—every day, your soul needs to engage Creation. Nature is the world your soul was made to live in, and for most of us, Nature is the first thing to go. We live in artificial environments, going from apartment or home to vehicle to workplace, and never even noticing what Nature is doing. But everyone can get outside, in some way; take a 5-minute walk around your building. Notice the weather; let the sun or rain or breeze touch your skin. Dear friends, technology drains us. Research is revealing a direct correspondence between rising levels of anxiety and depression, and time spent on social media. More and more data is emerging to say that “screen time” is not good for the brain, let alone the soul. Technology—where most people live their lives—is draining. Nature is healing. So reduce one and increase the other. You’ll find God there. Now for a simple act that will transform your life (every one of these things is available in even the busiest life). We learn the practice of Release. Every night before I go to bed, one of the things I pray is, “Jesus—I give everyone and everything to you.” Everyone and everything. Your soul was never meant to carry it all, dear ones. If you want to make room in your soul for God, you have to let go of all the things that are currently filling your soul. You might be surprised by how much is filling your soul. So we give it all back to Him—we give everyone, and everything back to Jesus. The fruit of this practice has become so life giving, I do it now several times a day. Now, yes—there are more substantive spiritual practices. Lingering prayer. Scripture. Times of private worship. Spending a day with God. But if you will begin with simple, accessible, and sustainable things, they will lead you on to other practices that create sacred space in your life, which allows you to find more of God. (If you’d like to hear more about this, and other practices that are readily available, listen to our February 26 and March 5 podcasts. You will love them!) Friends, we cannot ignore our souls, let alone God, and then go on to try and make a life. God is the source of all life: “For with you is the fountain of life” (Ps 36:9). We need to turn there, often, for a good, deep drink. Therefore, what we need to do is to arrange our lives to make room for those things that bring us more of God. Honestly—it’s that simple. And utterly life-changing. John (Download this, the March 2018 Newsletter here.)
John Eldredge
Five Agreements That Are Killing Millennials
I fear the worst has happened. You are losing heart, may have already lost it altogether. No more terrible loss can be suffered. For once we lose heart, everything else follows—our ability to live and love, to find joy and happiness. Without a rich life of the heart, we cannot sustain friendship or meaning or purpose or any of the things we once enjoyed. But the loss happens subtly, over time, like cancer—so that only when we are emaciated do we begin to realize what’s happened. I believe this loss of heart, now sweeping an entire generation, is deeply linked to some core beliefs that have crept in. I call them “agreements” because they are ideas which have secured a deep agreement in your heart without you really stopping to consider the implications. We all breathe a cultural air; the assumptions we absorb are the very things that seem to us to need no explanation. Which is good news, actually, because it means you can fight your way out; you can get your hope and your heart back. Agreement Number 1: Doubt Is One of the Highest Virtues You may find this statement overstated; but that is actually helpful to you. If the exposure of an agreement isn’t at first startling, we probably haven’t gotten to the core issue. Your generation has many beautiful qualities, among them an openness to the views and opinions of others and a strong defiance of authoritarianism—especially religious authoritarianism. On a daily basis you and your peers are subjected to yet another exposé of some respected figure, policy, or organization who, it turns out, has been lying to the public for some time. Too much of this and suspicion becomes a mode of survival. Who do you trust anymore? Certainly not the banks or government, not political leaders or church denominations or even the universities. And so doubt has become a virtue, a means of rejecting intolerance and oppression. Doubt is your millennial membership card; suspicion is your posture towards everything. Harold Bloom saw this coming when he wrote The Closing of the American Mind: Openness—and the relativism that makes it the only plausible stance in the face of various claims to truth and various ways of life and kinds of human beings—is the great insight of our times. The true believer is the real danger. The study of history and of culture teaches that all the world was mad in the past; men always thought they were right, and that led to wars, persecutions, slavery, xenophobia, racism and chauvinism. The point is not to correct the mistakes and really be right; rather it is not to think you are right at all. Laid-back relativism is a moral requisite for millennials. Do not dare to think you are right. But the danger in making that agreement is that your capacity to believe—one of God’s greatest gifts to you—is being eroded hour by hour, and when you cannot hold fast to strong belief, your life is cast adrift on an ebbing tide of meaninglessness. If you feel the true believer is the real danger, then nothing really matters, because we can’t trust anything. The tragedy is, you cannot live with faith, hope, and love when you abandon belief. Jesus understands doubt; he has mercy for it. But he never, ever leaves a person stuck there. He certainly doesn’t praise it. “Stop doubting and believe,” was his position. The erosion of your capacity to believe is something to be fought tooth and nail, fought with every ounce of your being, as if your life depended on it. For it does. Agreement Number 2: Offense Is the Worst You were nursed almost exclusively on the milk of Tolerance; it is one of your highest values and the last Absolute Truth. I say this with compassion. I think Agreement 1 snuck in through the door of the very legitimate desire to avoid blind dogmatism. Agreement 2 has crept in through the door of wanting to be seen as a kind and accepting person. But the minefield of social sensitivities you must currently navigate has become psychotic, labyrinthine. Make no slight against whatever gender angle someone might be, or their politics, certainly never against people of color—though at any given moment in this shifting sea you have no idea what the offense of the day might be. You have to become a contortionist in order to find the posture every possible people group, party, faith, or unbelief will find kind and accepting. It is like playing a game of Twister with an octopus; the octopus will always win. This agreement is particularly seductive for Christians, who in this age of hatred want very much to represent Christ as a gracious and accepting person. And so we at first hide, then slowly surrender convictions that might put us at odds with the Culture of Tolerance Above All Else. But, good-hearted millennial, even if you surrender every conviction, you cannot possibly avoid offense in this hour. You live in the culture that prizes and rewards victimhood; this is the culture of the Offended Self. “Do not offend” is not only a weak personal ethic, it is impossible to live out. Tolerance is simply not a strong enough virtue to build your life on. By all means love. Love is the highest call. Love is the measuring rod of all other things. But of course, Scripture urges us to speak the truth in love—not abandon the truth in order to love. Suddenly we find ourselves faced with a choice between saying nothing, so as not to offend, and the higher call of speaking truthfully in order to love. Jesus, who in most circles is still regarded as a loving man, passed on to his followers something awkward indeed—the offense of the Cross. But having made Agreements 1 and 2, it is understandable that Number 3 is all that you have left. Agreement Number 3: Justice Is the Best Expression of the Gospel Not only has yours been the first generation raised on the media of exposé (thus your suspicion of everything), you have also had the heartache of the world set before you like no previous generation. Ever. Tragedy, violence, and oppression from every remote corner of the globe is delivered to you, daily, moment by moment, on your phones. In a beautiful response, your generation has risen to champion the suffering of people groups and causes your parents never imagined. Witness how deeply this has taken hold: if you are not up-to-date on every issue of injustice from the latest corporate scam to the plight of hidden people groups, you feel a little embarrassed. For the good millennial must know and care about everything. “Really—you didn’t know that the chocolate you are eating promotes slavery?” “You didn’t know the shoes you wear are made by a company that dumps toxic waste into Chinese rivers?” “I only wear clothing made from organic cotton by women rescued from trafficking.” To be ignorant on any point of justice is a kind of moral failure. Compassion fatigue is inevitable. The burnout rate of those serving on the front lines of justice causes is catastrophic. What does this tell us? Your soul is finite; you simply cannot care about an infinite number of causes. You cannot know about so much suffering without it actually doing harm. In fact, there is evidence that to be exposed to so much trauma is in itself traumatizing. So—doesn’t justice then require that you end the trauma you are being subjected to by regulating how much trauma-news you take in? The game of Twister I mentioned above has become dangerous and complex. A second weakness of the Justice Gospel is that helping is not always helpful. Did you know a majority of women rescued from the sex trade return to the industry of their own choosing? The reason being, unless you heal the human soul of the ravages of trauma and release it from the darkness that enters into those fractures, you will not in fact rescue those women. Justice is needed, but justice is woefully insufficient to heal humanity. Which leads us to the deepest, most entangled, and emotionally volatile weakness of the Justice Gospel… The simple, alarming fact is that the primary mission of Jesus Christ is not social justice; it is to save mankind from their sin. The brilliance of this approach can be seen in the fact that the global sex trade would collapse in one month if every man and woman purchasing sex had a change of heart. The trade will not cease so long as depraved humanity provides a robust market for it. This change of heart, this internal moral revolution Scripture calls repentance—this is the core of the Gospel. Given her wealth and influence, Oprah will do far more for the justice movement than you or your church ever will. But you have something Oprah does not apparently offer the world: you have Jesus Christ, and him crucified. So, is telling the world about Christ crucified central to your work? Even your motives? Alas—having become entangled in Agreement Number 2, many millennials are paralyzed here. “Can’t we just do good and let that be our witness?” What distinguishes your work from the secular NGOs doing the same? Let’s be honest: the attraction of the justice movement is that it allows people to demonstrate their good will without having to enter into that difficult task—so well-known to the prophets, the apostles and Christ himself—of telling the world that much of what it believes and how it behaves is flat wrong. But of course, in our world, telling someone they are wrong is now considered an injustice. Which puts you in a terrible bind. Friends, the world is a heroin addict committing crimes to feed its habit. It doesn’t just need compassion—it needs intervention. It needs to be courageously told to sober up. Yes, it needs help doing so; but it also needs to be called out, held accountable, confronted. I know, I know—we are going to be criticized for even saying this. “We are winning a hearing for the Gospel because we are involved in Justice!” I think that can be a legitimate strategy. My only question is, “Do you speak the Gospel of repentance of sins as clearly and as frequently as you provide other services?” I believe justice is a fruit of something deeper, larger, grander. I believe it is an outcome of the kingdom of God advancing on the earth. If that’s true, if that is a far more coherent and sustainable strategy, then wouldn’t helping people learn to live under the influence of Jesus and his kingdom be our number one priority? Agreement Number 4: Gender Is a Construct This is where the debate currently rages regarding our view of human beings and the design God has for their happiness. But sadly, this subject is so volatile and reactionary, so filled with accusation and vilification, that reasonable conversation has become impossible. (The octopus in your social game of Twister is now wielding poison daggers in all eight tentacles.) I will therefore only point out something I feel to be helpful to the person wanting to take the teachings of Jesus Christ seriously: Jesus believed humanity has a design to it. He said we are made in the image of God—a truth that would do wonders for the cause of Justice if the world embraced it. He also believed that gender was part of the created order, teaching that we were made “male and female” (Matthew 19:4). Now, whatever else that implies, Jesus clearly felt that gender is something woven into our created being, not a thing of our own making. The starting point is this: human nature is something designed by God, and only by finding his design can we flourish. Once you abandon this, you will find you need to distance yourselves from Scripture as a whole, or rewrite it or reinterpret it in ways that are compatible with the current cultural milieu. You can do that, of course. I simply want to point out that once you abandon the reliability of the Gospel witness of Jesus Christ and abandon with it the high view of Scripture Jesus clearly built his whole teaching on, you will no longer have anything resembling Christianity or Christ. Agreement Number 5: There Is Nothing Epic About My Story Yours also was the education shaped by “deconstruction,” now a marginal philosophy. But it did its damage, like a high-speed automobile accident. Sure—it’s over, but you are now missing a limb. The general impression of your peers is that no story really has any claim over any other (thus Agreements 1,2,3, and 4). Simply notice how much you need to couch your opinions in any social setting: “But that’s just how I see it…I feel that for myself...In my own personal journey….” Not only that, anyone who steps forward with what they claim to be The Story explaining all stories is the very person every millennial in the room moves away from. Don’t want to be seen with them. The reason I saved this for last is because the deadliest agreements are those which open the elevator shaft to the abyss of meaninglessness. You can try to keep up with the yoga contortions of social sensitivity; you can stand for justice though your own heart drowns under the accumulated grief of the world; you can remain silent on human design. But when you come to believe that your life has no real purpose or grand design, what else follows but depression, then despair? Why else has suicide become the second leading cause of death among millennials? And here is the tragic irony—only the epic worldview will explain your life and the world to you; only the epic worldview will see you through it. Only the strong belief (there goes Agreement 1) that you are an essential part of a beautiful and powerful Story will provide you with the bearing you need to navigate the world. Do you think it coincidence that in this very moment of unbelief and laid-back relativism, we’ve seen the resurgence of the bazillion superhero movies and the Star Wars canon? The world is aching for epic meaning. We live in a moment in time when everything, absolutely everything, is either at stake (see Agreements 1-4) or already lost. Truth is lost. Beauty is lost. Goodness is lost. Humanity is lost. How much more epic do you want? Small little life with some self-constructed meaning is not going to cut it, dear ones. Your coffee-roasting, beanie-wearing, socially aware buddy is not going to save himself from a massive loss of heart. God bless the heart—it refuses to be neglected or cowed before false gods. It rebels. It cries out in the form of anxiety and aimlessness; it protests in the form of hopelessness, depression, anger, and despair. We would do well to listen. If any of these agreements have rung true for you, if you find that you have made even the smallest concession to them, the first matter of business is to renounce them. Kick them out of your heart and life. Reject their every attempt to rule or return. Embrace the opposite. It will not merely save your psyche; it will allow you to get your heart back. And with it, everything that makes a life worth living.
John Eldredge
Everything We Needed
I have a beautiful story to share with you. One that I hope will encourage your hearts and your faith, which would be lovely as we all begin a new year. In order to tell this story well, I need to take you back to the founding of Wild at Heart. Now, I’m not going to burden you with the ministry equivalent of watching home movies of our children. But I do want to share the wild goodness of God. Back in 2001, I was working a couple of jobs. I had a full-time “day job,” and during evenings I was building my private practice as a therapist. My books had not yet become well-known; no one really knew who the Eldredges were and what you now know as Wild at Heart did not exist. I remember one evening Jesus telling me very clearly to quit both jobs, and start out on this venture with him. We had no donors; we had no real plan. We did have several long weekends of prayer and fasting with key advisors, and we knew beyond a shadow of a doubt God was speaking. So like Abraham and Sarai, we set out for an unknown future. I quit my jobs. I wrote a book called Wild at Heart. We started doing retreats for men. But it was all very small and full of the unknown. In fact, for the next two years, Stasi and I had no idea where our weekly paycheck would come from. We had no health insurance. And mind you – we had three young boys at the time! Now, I am NOT suggesting this is what you ought to go do. You must be very, very sure God is speaking before you launch out on something so wild as that! Too many signs and confirmations came to us to recount here, but I do recall that at our very first retreat we had booked a camp for 350 men on our own checkbook, hoping we would have men show up. We had no mailing list; Facebook didn’t even exist back then. We simply put the word out, and told folks if they wanted to come to mail us a check for their registration (there was no online registration in those days; we didn’t even have a website). Exactly 350 checks came in. Those early days were filled with stories like that; we were living completely by faith. There were weeks when we did not know where the groceries would come from. Then, a bag of food or a tray of lasagna would just show up on our doorstep. God came through. And he has kept coming through. In larger and larger ways. Once you have a ministry with some global impact and reputation, the temptation is to shift from a faith-based approach to grab for security in more worldly ways. Organizations pad their bank accounts; they hire marketing gurus to conduct aggressive fundraising campaigns. But when they do, they lose something of the trueness of walking with God. We never wanted to become that. So each year, our leadership team sets a budget based on what we believe God is asking us to do. We look for about 40% of our income to come in through our events and resources, leaving the other 60% to come in through the gifts and support of our friends and allies. These days, many people wait until the last weeks of December to make their decisions about their charitable giving. And so each year we find ourselves waiting in hope and faith for the groceries to “show up on the step,” waiting for the mail and our online giving to see what will happen. Last month, we needed $937,000 to come in through donations. In the final week of December, we needed $509,000 of that amount to come in. And it did. With a few dollars to spare. (I have a huge smile on my face as I write this. It is such a wild and HOLY story!) This has been happening for 17 years now. Even though our budget grows each year, as we reach out to more and more people in more and more countries, we still see God provide exactly what we need—through your generosity and your walk with him. What is so beautiful about this story is that we don’t raise 150% of our budget; we don’t even raise 120%. Each year, God provides exactly what we need with a touch of margin to allow us to carry on. And we wouldn’t have it any other way. You notice we don’t do aggressive fundraising. We don’t have capital campaigns, or trusts, or solicit grants. I wrote you in November asking if you would help us, and then we waited to see what you and God would do. Everything we needed came in. It is a beautiful, wild story. I just couldn’t let January go by without sharing it with you. I don’t want to be like the people Jesus healed who never came back to say “thank you.” From the bottom of our hearts, thank you!!! Your support matters—right down to the nickel! Now we start again. We will live by faith this year, and walk with God. We will follow him into the missions he has for us; we will do our best to avoid the seductive lures of the world. And we will trust him to guide, and provide, as he has been doing for the last 17 years. I love sharing this with you. I hope it encourages your own faith journey. Here’s to a powerful and meaningful 2018! John Download the Wild at Heart January 2018 Newsletter here.
John Eldredge
The Great Story
Dear Friends, Comrades, Fellow Pilgrims, A very happy Christmastide to you. December is upon us with a rush, and soon the holidays, and then, perhaps, a breath before 2018 gets underway. The swift passing of the days—and even that feeling, “Where did 2017 go?”—all this is reminding us that this Story is racing forward; we are being carried along towards some great moment. Story. It is one of the greatest gifts the Jews gave the world. For before them (and in many places, long after) the world and its religions did not think of life as a Story at all. Most pagan peoples saw human experience as an endlessly repeating cycle of birth and death, headed nowhere. Through the Jewish people, and then the early Church, God gave us our bearings, gave us meaning and direction and above all a breathtaking hope by revealing to us the Great Story he is telling. Story is, therefore, how we orient ourselves. I was enjoying some pieces of The Lord of the Rings trilogy the other night, just snatches here and there to remind me what it is like to live in an epic tale. I love the part where dear Sam Gamgee reminds Mr. Frodo of the critical importance of story. Frodo is about to give up, under the weight of it all: “I can’t do this, Sam.” To which Sam replies, I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something. It is the power of the Great Story that gives us heart to carry on. Life is not, as Macbeth lamented, “A tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” It is not an endless cycle. This is headed somewhere; we are racing towards a breathtaking climax. And so Christians around the world will repeat The Story to one another this month, in pageants and liturgy, sermons and carols. We repeat the most beautiful moment thus far—the Invasion, the Incarnation. Our rescue. We need to repeat it, for like Mr. Frodo we bend under the weight of our own heavy burdens, and evil of this hour. One of the ways we rehearse the Story in our family is by reading favorite passages and poems to one another. We love John Donne’s Divine Poems, a series of rich stanzas that are so beautiful and compact, you have to take them slowly. I thought I’d share a few snippets here, my Sam to your Frodo. The first stanza—La Corona—ends with the lines, “Tis time that heart and voice be lifted high” (there’s the telling of the Story), “Salvation to all that will is nigh” (as the first Christmas approaches). Stanza two—Annunciation—speaks of the mystery of Christ in Mary’s womb, ending with the gorgeous line, “Immensity, cloistered in thy dear womb.” Stanza three—Nativity—starts with the same line, and then carries us into and through Bethlehem: Immensity, cloistered in thy dear womb, Now leaves His well-beloved imprisonment. There he hath made himself to his intent Weak enough, now into our world to come; But O! for thee, for Him, hath th’ inn no room? Yet lay Him in a stall, and from th’ orient, Stars, and wise men will travel to prevent The effects of Herod's jealous general doom. See'st thou, my soul, with thy faith's eye, how He Which fills all place, yet none holds Him, doth lie? Was not His pity towards thee wondrous high, That would have need to be pitied by thee? Kiss Him, and with Him into Egypt go, With His kind mother, who partakes thy woe. So much is captured in these lines. But can’t you also feel the Story moving forward with an irreversible power and thrust? Christ is born, the Magi arrive just in time to rescue him from Herod’s genocide, and the angel has Joseph whisk the family off to Egypt. Every event, great and small, has meaning. And continuity. It is so good to be reminded of that as well—this Story is moving forward with power towards its glorious climax, or at least, the great finish of this chapter. For like Mr. Frodo we also wonder why evil has so much sway, and if it really matters how or if we carry on. But it does matter. The Kingdom of God is winning; the Invasion worked and it is working right now. Magnificently. And we each have our role to play. So tell each other the Story this Christmas season. Drink it in. Believe every word. We are racing towards the finish of this chapter, and what a finish it will be. Then…the feast. And all things made new. Merry Christmas friends, from your friends here at Wild at Heart. Download the Wild at Heart December 2017 Newsletter Here.
John Eldredge
Mislabeled
On a recent trip where I was going to be away for nine days, I arrived safe and sound but my luggage did not. It was, however, one of the rare occasions that I'd actually kept the sticky part of my baggage claim, along with my ticket, so the baggage man could look it up. He came to me shortly and said, “Your bag is here." “It is?!?” I replied in relieved wonder. “Yes. It’s right here.” He was standing next to a bag that was definitely not mine. This one was hard-shelled. Mine is soft. This one had no distinguishing ribbons on the handle. Mine does. Additionally, this one was pink, while mine is black. Let’s just say I recognized it as not mine right away. "That is definitely not my bag," I told him. He refused to believe me. He took my portion of the claim ticket, held it up to the one on the bag, and lo and behold, they both said, S ELDREDGE. He was adamant that it was indeed my bag, and it took a few minutes for him to understand that the bag had been mistagged. The only identification on the pink imposter was a name. No address. No phone number. Oh, dear. The mystery search began without much hope. Still, somewhere in the world a person was going to be experiencing the same thing but with my bag. My hope was in the folks at the other end. My bag was mislabeled. It was mine but had another name on it. It should have read “Stasi Eldredge.” I have no idea what it did say. All I learned later was that my bag had traveled on to Korea. A few days later, it was returned to me intact. Have you ever been mislabeled? I have. I am Stasi, but I have been labeled many other things. Things that are contrary to the truth. I bet you have too. We get labeled all kinds of cruel things. Unwanted. Too much trouble. Disposable. And many, many worse things. All of which can be difficult to combat when in the face of someone—or some spirit—assigning it to us with such surety. God names us Beloved. Child. Chosen. Seen. Wanted. Sought after. Holy. Dearly loved. And many, many other glorious things that are true. Who are we going to believe? We need to believe our Father. We need to be so rooted in our true names that a mislabeling is spotted as a farce as easily as the pink bag was. Our histories and those who populate it may scream a false identity over us, but only our Father God has the right to tell us who we are—and to whom we belong. We belong to Him. We are His. We are often mismarked, but the Holy Spirit has marked you in the permanent red ink of our Jesus' blood. He has set His seal upon you. Claim it. https://youtu.be/OjxwryxSrIY
Stasi Eldredge
Defensiveness or Repentance?
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate to do. –Romans 7:15, 18b I recently traveled to South Dakota to join a group of men in enjoying some of the finest pheasant hunting there is. At the same time, my wife, Tannah, decided to go to southern California to visit family and friends and to tie up some loose ends from our recent move from California to Colorado. I was to return from South Dakota and she from California the same day. Though I was scheduled for a late-afternoon flight, I had to get one of the guys back to the airport mid-morning for his flight. Hoping to avoid a long day of waiting, I checked on an earlier flight to Colorado Springs. It was full, but the agent said there’d likely be a cancellation, and I was first in line for standby. After the earlier flight boarded, there was one seat empty. The missing passenger was paged twice, with no response. Just as I was about to be given the seat, the passenger showed up. The plane was full. I really didn’t want to spend the next several hours there and called Tannah to express my frustration. As she walked to her gate to board her plane in California, I told her how disappointed and irritated I was to be stuck in this airport. Because of background noise, she had a hard time hearing me and kept asking, “What? What? What?” To which I said, “Do you not ever use those expensive earbuds I bought you for your phone?” To which she said, “WHAT?” My irritation at being delayed at the airport now turned on Tannah. When she arrived at her gate and was able to focus and better hear me, I repeated myself: ”Where are your earbuds?” She quickly detected my very critical tone. “I ask again, don’t you ever use them? Where are they??” She paused, then said, “They’re in the bottom of my purse. With the expensive battery charger you gave me.” And then, “I’m now waiting for you to criticize me about all the stuff I bring on trips that I don’t need.” I could hear her tears on the other end as she said, “I can never please you.” How many times have I done this to her in our marriage? I’m embarrassed to even guess. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate to do. Now comes the critical moment: Do I go defensive—hiding behind the fig leaf of my critical spirit—and start making excuses about how I am just trying to make her life better? Or do I pause, repent, and ask her forgiveness? God knew I needed several hours in an airport that afternoon to own my brokenness and take this to Him. The journey to healing is painful.
Bart Hansen
Snorkeling
When our sons were between the ages of 8 and 12, we had the opportunity to introduce them to snorkeling. I had only been recently introduced to it myself and I had just loved it. Loved it like Scrooge loved money before that auspicious Christmas Eve. Just give me more! Loved it like bighorn sheep love mountains. I felt so at home there. It was a physical representation of a spiritual reality. Non-swimmers on shore had no idea of the very real world that remained unseen to them. Venture in and the reality of an underwater realm was as true as the existence of a spiritual one if you would but choose to see. I was beyond excited to introduce my sons to the wonders of a world they had never been exposed to before and one that I came so alive in! The colors of the water. The feel of the swell as it raised and lowered your body on the surface. The beauty displayed in the mysterious fish. The delicate differences in their shapes. The splendor of God’s creative handiwork there to discover with awe and joy. AMAZING. After the boys had their snorkeling gear on we entered the water and I warned them to stay clear of the coral. The coral and rocks were sharp. They needed to be certain to swim over them and not let the waves push them into them and thereby shred their tender skin. On I went. Coral cuts are really painful. It would hurt. Make sure there is enough water between you and it to swim over without danger. Oh – I continued – sometimes you will see holes in the underwater rocks and you might want to explore them by sticking your hand into them. Don’t do it!!!!! An eel may live in that hole! It could bite your finger off! Eels? They asked with horrified eyes. Don’t worry, I lamely assured them. You don’t bother them, they won’t bother you. Eels? They asked again with undiminished worry. What do they look like? I calmed them down. They look like snakes only fatter. Now, let’s go enjoy this!!!! In their watchful posture swimming with fear over coral and scanning every stone for a hole and making sure that every piece of waving seaweed wasn’t actually a snake coming to bite their finger off, I don’t think they saw a fish. They didn’t like snorkeling very much. In fact, it was years before they did. And you’re welcome. And whoops. My emphasis on what to be alert for regarding danger overshadowed my emphasis on what to be on the alert for regarding beauty and goodness. I had assumed they would be overwhelmed by the wonder. The warnings were, to my mind, simply an important side note. But my way of presenting it to them shifted their gaze from the beauty to discover to the threat to be avoided. It is a mistake I have made in many areas stemming from my mother’s heart that wants to shield others from pain. Spiritual warfare is as real as that underwater wonderland. We are instructed to be on the alert, not unaware of the devil’s schemes. We are to live prepared for battle wearing the full armor of God because we are living in the midst of the most important battle ever waged. It is vital that we stay girded up, putting on love, vigilant against the enemy’s incessant lies and accusation. He is a divider who comes to steal, kill and destroy and he isn’t very nice about it. AND. The beauty of God is vastly more breathtaking than the ugliness of Satan. The power of the Almighty is immeasurably more so than the attempts of the enemy to usurp Him. God is a warrior. He is our Victor. He is matchless. He is supreme. He is unrivaled. He has won. Love trumps hate. Goodness smothers wickedness. Mercy triumphs over judgment. We are to live alert to the moves of the Holy Spirit, following and obeying Him wherever He leads. Our gaze is fixed upon His beauty with breathless anticipation while at the same time we remain alert to snakes in all their many guises. The joy of the Lord is our strength. Love overcomes fear. Stay clear of the coral but with eyes open to truth and wonder, enjoy the swim.
Stasi Eldredge
Our Reach Across the World
Dear Friends, I have a beautiful picture I want to share with you… Our team has been praying for some time now, asking God what His next move is on the earth, and the role He has for us to play. (We have this growing conviction, a strong sense that He is moving, and about to move in a deeper way, upon the earth.) In several different prayer times now, over the course of several months, we have seen a picture of “fires” igniting all over the map, all over the world. You are starting those fires, He said. Those are your people—that is your message. That picture fills our hearts with excitement and passion. It brings us such joy and happiness! Deep in the DNA of every friend of Jesus is this same passion, to be a part of his mission on the earth—to see lives rescued, restored, to see redemption, to bring about beauty from ashes. I know that’s deep in you, too. How exciting to think that God is about to do something powerful! One of the sweet gifts during the last Captivating retreat here in Colorado was not only to witness the restoration of women, but to hear from them the ministry of Wild at Heart around the world. A woman came from Guatemala because her church developed a ministry to women based on Captivating. A woman started an online outreach to teenage girls using our message; she already has 17,000 followers. Another woman came privately to Stasi to report healing in her gender identity; she said, “I think Wild at Heart has a really deep ministry to the LGBTQ community.” One life is worth rescuing. One heart is worth restoring. But God wants to show us something more—a stunning outreach across the world. Because our work is so intimate and deeply personal, healing the hearts and souls of God’s beloved, that is what we tend to talk about. So you might not be aware of these fires that are popping up all over… Several different ministries have been birthed to fight human trafficking through people whose lives have been transformed by Wild at Heart. We recently sat with one couple now serving in Thailand, and heard the beautiful stories of little boys and girls rescued from prostitution through their work. I just got an email from another ministry telling me about two girls they saved. A man came all the way from South Africa to our boot camp in Colorado, where he gave his life to Christ, and upon returning home he started an orphanage to rescue refugee children coming south from ravaged African nations. “I was fatherless,” he said. “Now I am father to hundreds.” Friends in Switzerland developed a program to disciple young millennials in this message, over a one-year experience. I love the photos they send of these young people—eyes bright, faces glowing. Especially when you know suicide is epidemic with our young people. Earlier this year we shared communication with the persecuted church in Syria (!), thanking us for our message and our resources—which they are drawing strength from, and using to strengthen others there. Holy. An email came last week from a pastor in Zimbabwe, telling us his plans to use Wild at Heart and Captivating to help the young people understand who they are. An earlier letter from Liberia reports on their work, using Becoming Myself with young girls. I could go on and on. Colombia. Poland. Norway. The UK. These are the “fires.” You are those fires! And we sense from God that he is wanting to increase the movement, deepen the discipleship, strengthen existing fires and light many new ones! Wow. Just ...wow. Twice a year I reach out to ask your financial help. We don’t manipulate; we don’t raise more than we need. We simply let you know we have a real need, and ask if you could help. Now is that time. Our international work does not pay for itself; we do it as an offering to those countries, those allies. We love being generous! We know you do, too. We do need your help. We need to raise a little more than half our budget before the end of the year. Would you be able to send a gift our way? You can send in a check. Or, you can give online at our website www.ransomedheart.com. Your gift will reach out across the world! You are supporting a beautiful work of God when you support Wild at Heart. And that work is growing! Breathtaking! Thank you so much for partnering with us. For being those fires. For helping us light new ones! With you for the Kingdom, John PS. We are doing our first Captivating retreat in Australia December 1-4. We know that fire will start many others. There’s still space to attend there, so let your friends “down under” know! Download the November 2017 Newsletter here.
John Eldredge